Feel free to ignore this post. It's full of drama and things you will most likely not understand.
Boys.
They are interesting creatures indeed. They know the perfect way to make you feel giddy and stupid at the same time. I don't get it. They know how to make your day, any day, the perfect day. Truthfully I'm scared of boys. I get along with my cousins and that's about it. Boys make me blush. Any boy really. Actually that's false. Anyone can make me blush. It's a dreadful disease. I wish I knew who to blame for it. I have thought long and hard about banning myself from talking to boys. For two reasons. One to save my cheeks from the rosy way of which they will appear and two to stop myself for falling for any such boy. Any boy can know exactly how I'm feeling if they just look at my complexion. It's really no fair. I wish I had a poker face. But alas I do not. I have quite the opposite.
One boy once told me that he thought is was cute when I blushed. Cute? More like embarrassing. I hate my face. Any of my friends know this little fact about me. It's a con not a pro.
You know that feeling where you want to just hide from the world and eat ice cream all day. Girls I'm sure you all do. Boys on the other just probably punch a wall and are all better after that. Isn't it neat how different we are. I believe so. Wow that was a jumbled mess.
Anyway a certain someone came into my life a little over a year ago. I would say it was love at first sight. Little did I know that that first instinct would turn into something so great. We got to know each other slowly but surely. (If you are him or related to this him, this is awkward). My friends kept saying "He's into you." but I just thought of us as friends. It was good that way. Great actually. Until one day the secret got out. We both had found out this little secret. I could not have been more enthralled. But now what? Were we just supposed to go on like nothing had ever happened? Well eventually we fell more in love with each other. I'm an awkward person so I'm sure he had second thoughts. We had our trials but it made us stronger. Wedding language much?
I had never put so much into a relationship than this one. We were always so happy together. We made each other smile even when we were in the worst moods. We always wanted to be together and talk. It got to the point of me staying up pressing little keys with my thumbs mid sentence falling asleep love. We were cheesy. But not too cheesy. We were cute together to say the least.
He always held my hand a certain way that made me puke butterflies. It was different than any other guy. He held two of my fingers in one hand and the other two in the other hand. You may say, that's weird. But to me it was cute.
Pause.
Why am I giving you so much detail I do not know.
We had so many inside jokes I cannot even begin to count them all. We shared so many moments together. Fantastic moments really. Graduation came around and we were still going strong. Summer came. Still going strong until the end. Life was too hard. Switching schools. Fighting within the family. He was my rock other than my Savior. HE made me happy and giddy still. But something happened and it ended. I'll spare you the details. He may think I ended it just so I could flirt with new guys at my new school. This is one thing that hurt me most. Never in my life would I do that. I think to highly of him and myself to do that.
Our friendship was pretty much terminated. That was the one thing I was sure of would never die or go away. But it did. We still see each other but not as often as I would like.
He's found someone new. And from what I hear. He is twitter-pated. It hurts but I am so happy for him. He deserves someone good. Someone not awkward as I was. Someone who can love them with all their heart at the moment. I wish I could see them together but of course that's just too awkward to handle right? Maybe one day I will meet this wonderful girl. I'm sure she's great. He only attracts the good. I hope she appreciates him. Because I sure did.
To all of you who have had love. Cheers.
There I'm feeling much better.
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